Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
