Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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