Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
