I heard we made out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's no shave November. This is our time.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
