We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
