Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
