Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
