I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
