We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
