So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
