ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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