you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
