This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
