I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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