i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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