apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
