There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
