The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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