no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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