There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
