ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...

  Fav 8 779 2098

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.

  Fav 7 4130 1153

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back

  Fav 13 4229 1620

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

  Fav 38 4344 2602

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

  Fav 6 668 1892

  share tweet
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

  Fav 7 3337 1009

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (905): View more from Ontario

  he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions

  Fav 2 922 660

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.

  Fav 1 1032 553

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.

  Fav 1 1038 531

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark

  Fav 9 1071 806

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.

  Fav 6 747 596

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face

  Fav 0 379 189

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.

  Fav 0 43 11

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.

  Fav 0 47 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs

  Fav 0 97 13

  share tweet
  

Randomize