my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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