She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize