White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize