It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
