how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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