took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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