Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
