It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize