Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
