i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
