I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
