totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
areolas are like halos for boobs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
