I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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