Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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