fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
