I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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