It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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