No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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