You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
