super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
