bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
