I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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