Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize