my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize