You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize