So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
