Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
