got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
