Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
