There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
