Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
