your room smells of hookers.
And success
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize