She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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