vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
