Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
