my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
