I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
