i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
