four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
